Shabbat Shalom Message - B'haalot'cha

 

Joy. Sadness. Anger. Fear. Disgust. 

These are not just emotions, but vividly imagined characters in the Pixar movie, Inside Out. This week I saw the new movie Inside Out 2, in which Anxiety, Embarrassment, Envy, and Ennui make their debut (along with the delightful Nostalgia). Without giving away too much of the plot, I will share that the new movie is about emotions that come to the fore during adolescence, with Anxiety taking the helm.  As the tagline of the movie exclaims, “Make room for new emotions!”

That could be the tagline for this week’s Torah portion as well. In B’haalot’cha, the Israelites are wandering in the desert, and causing trouble (for themselves, for Moses, and for God). We see strong emotions from all of them:

Nostalgia (Israelites): Take us back to Egypt, where we had good food to eat! “We remember the fish that we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, the garlic. Now our gullets are shriveled. There is nothing at all! Nothing but this manna to look to!” (Num 11:4)

Anger (God): “God was very angry… you shall eat meat… for a whole month, until it comes out of your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you!” (Num 11:10, 18, 20)

Anxiety (with despair, Moses): “I cannot carry all these people by myself, for it is too much for me. If you would deal thus with me, kill me, rather, I beg you, and let me see no more of my wretchedness!” (Num 11:15)

Fear (Moses and Aaron): “Miriam was stricken with snow-white scales… Oh God, please heal her!” (Num 12:10, 12)

One of the metaphors for this part of the biblical story is that of adolescence. The Israelite people were “birthed” as a nation when they went through the Sea of Reeds and became free. However, they did not reach maturation (“adulthood”) as a people until they entered the Land of Israel. The journey through the midbar (which can mean desert or wilderness), has often been described as the “adolescence” of the Jewish people. It is a time of wandering through the “wilderness” (both literal and metaphorical) - a time of major transitions, a time in which they learn how to live with their newfound freedom, their newfound autonomy.

I have been reading the excellent book Untangled by Dr. Lisa Damour, which describes seven transitions a teenager makes in their journey from childhood to adulthood. One of those transitions is Harnessing Emotions. As Dr. Damour notes, the hallmark of adulthood is the ability to “manage, indeed make good use of” our feelings (p.86). Adolescence is a time when “intense emotions burst through,” leading to “a new period of emotional upheaval” (p. 85). [Side note: Dr. Damour was an advisor for Inside Out 2.]  The emotional upheaval that appears in Inside Out 2 mirrors the emotional upheaval in this week’s Torah portion because both Riley and the Jewish people are going through major transitions. Riley is leaving childhood behind, looking ahead to high school and her teenage years. The Jewish people are wrestling with their freedom: leaving behind the familiar experience of slavery, and wandering through the messy wilderness on their path to nationhood.

I’d like to suggest that today, we are also in a time of major transition, a “wilderness” of sorts. We are in the midst of a technological revolution, with the advent of the internet, microchips, smart phones, social media, AI, and more. The last 30-ish years have been a whirlwind of technological advancement. At the same time, we are in the midst of a tectonic shift in what it means to be a Jew, especially vis-a-vis Israel. The horrors of October 7 and its aftermath have shaken us all, and the last 8 months have been nothing short of an “earthquake” in the ways in which the Jewish people have been affected - in Israel, of course, and around the world. And that is in addition to the major changes that had already been taking place in Israel prior to October 7th (remember the massive weekly protests against the government? The concerns about democracy in Israel?). The confluence of the two -the changes in technology along with changes in Israel - is radically changing our experience of the world, and it’s no wonder that our emotions are all over the map. We are all going through an “adolescence” - a period of upheaval in which we are changing - we know we are changing - but we don’t know what lies ahead. There is uncertainty, an unknown future, and it is hard to know what is stable, what to hold onto. 

Of course our emotions are all over the place! Of course Anxiety is often in the drivers’ seat! But we know that in life - as in the Torah - adolescence doesn’t last forever. We do eventually learn how to manage our emotions, how to navigate the rough waters of the transitions we are in. We learn to make room for all the emotions, not letting Anxiety push out everything else. We make our way to a new period of stability.

There is a hint in this week’s Torah portion about how we can get from here to there. There is a description of the ritual of the Passover sacrifice, which is supposed to be offered to God on a specific day (the 14th day of the first month of the year, otherwise known as Nissan).  But what happens if someone can’t do the ritual on that day? God gives them the opportunity to make it up.  Yes, there is a “make up” day!  The person who cannot bring the sacrifice on the 14th of Nissan is invited to bring the Passover sacrifice a month later - on the 14th day of the following month. They get a do-over. 

In periods of instability and change, Anxiety can lead us to believe that all will be lost if we don’t get things “right.” But God teaches us from this small moment in the Torah that it’s okay not to get things right the first time. There are times when we are not ready. When there are obstacles in our way. When our emotions or circumstances get the best of us. But there is a do-over day. A day to make things right, when we are ready.

This Shabbat, may we take some time to reflect on our circumstances and our emotions. May we lean into self-compassion, compassion for all the emotions that live within us and are driving us at this time. May we work on managing our emotions so that Anxiety doesn’t push everything else out. And may we remember that it’s ok not to get things exactly right - whether in our personal life or in the life of the Jewish community. We will do our best in the moment, and it will be okay to return to challenging tasks when we are ready.

What I Know & What I Don't Know: It's Okay to be Uncertain

Most Jews I know feel like the world has completely turned upside down since the horrific attacks by Hamas on Oct 7. Amidst the sadness, pain, fear, and despair is also a deep sense of confusion and mistrust. What should I believe? Whom can I trust? 

With opinions flying left and right, and lots of loud voices shouting into the ether, it is hard to be a voice of nuance. Of reason. Of uncertainty. I am writing this today to say loud and clear to my community: IT IS OKAY NOT TO KNOW.  It's okay not to know what you think and what you believe, especially as it relates to Israel and Gaza. It's okay to be wrestling with big questions about security, justice, freedom, the nature of good and evil. 

In that spirit, here are a few things I know and some things I don't know:

What I know:

• Hamas committed atrocities on Oct 7 that were unprovoked. There is absolutely NO justification for brutally murdering, injuring, and abducting civilians.
• Israel has a right to exist, and to be a Jewish state.
• Israel has a right to defend itself.
• Israel is not a "colonizing" power. The Israeli/Palestinian conflict is not a story of colonialism. 
• Palestinians deserve a country of their own (alongside Israel), with leadership whose goal is not to destroy Israel / kill Jews.
• I am personally dedicated - in my whole heart - to a two-state solution. As Thomas Friedman said in his excellent article Israel: From the Six-Day War to the Six-Front War, "If you are for a two-state solution, you are my friend and if you are against a two-state solution, you are not my friend."

What I don't know:

• What Israel should do next and whether a ground invasion of Gaza is the right choice or not
• How to dismantle Hamas
• How to free the captives
• How to get to a two-state solution, so that both Israelis and Palestinians can have self-determination and sovereignty, and live in peace and security.
• What can be done to help nurture/foster/encourage Palestinian leadership that is dedicated to the flourishing of Palestinians and a future Palestinian state alongside the flourishing of Israel / Israelis
• Whether to trust the current Israeli leadership, how to rid the Israeli government of extremists, and how to get to a new Israeli government that is dedicated to democracy, equality, and justice.
• How this will all unfold, how and when things will "end"

Where I turn for analysis about what's happening in Israel & Gaza:

• Israel Policy Forum (they are dedicated to a two-state solution, it's in their mission)
• The Shalom Hartman Institute, especially their podcasts

It's difficult to live with uncertainty.  It's difficult to live at a time when the news media make reports before facts are available. Before there's time to investigate and learn what happened. It's difficult when it feels like everyone jumps to conclusions and only sees things through one narrow lens. But in this time of heartache and pain, let us be counter-cultural by learning to live with uncertainty, with curiosity, and with patience. 

How Jews Are Feeling: A Rabbi's View (and what you can do to support Jews right now)

It's been 10 days since the Hamas massacre began. That first day - Oct 7 - Shabbat / Simchat Torah (a day that was supposed to be a celebratory double-holiday) - was a shocking nightmare, but the nightmare just keeps getting worse as we hear and see more and more about what Hamas did along with the disheartening / unsupportive responses from people around the world. 

For those who are not Jewish, it might seem like this is just another war in Israel. That is why I decided to write this blog post - to give a window into what's happening in the Jewish community right now, which is completely different than anything I've experienced in my lifetime.  This is how Jews in my community are feeling, as seen from my vantage point as a rabbi and Jewish educator:

(Note: I realize I'm painting with a broad brushstroke, and what I've written doesn't apply to every single Jewish person... but these are themes of what I've been hearing and seeing this week.)

Deep sadness / grief

The whole Jewish community is in mourning. The Jewish community is small, which means that even if you don't personally have family or friends in Israel, you know someone who does. It is only 1 or 2 degrees of separation. It seems like everyone knows someone (or knows someone who knows someone) who was murdered, abducted, injured, or recently called for reserve duty in the IDF.  

There is an extreme level of shock and sadness and grief about what happened to thousands of people on Oct 7. Jews are sharing photos of people who died, people who are missing, people who are likely captives in Gaza, including babies, toddlers, young adults, older adults, and everyone in between.  As I said, it's a nightmare, and one that almost all Jews are experiencing in one way or another. Many people have told me they can't stop crying. They can't sleep. They know they should put down their phones, turn off the news, look away from social media, but they can't. And so they look, and they keep crying.

Fear

Jews are feeling very afraid. They are worried for the safety of Israeli friends & family, but they are also afraid for their own safety and the safety of their children here in America. For context: Hamas does not want peace with Israel. They are not fighting for a Palestinian State alongside the State of Israel; rather, their aim (as they've clearly stated, over and over again) is to destroy Israel and kill Jews. Hamas declared last Friday (Oct 13) to be a day of terror/rage against Jews around the world, which meant Jews around the world were afraid for their lives. Antisemitism has been on the rise for the last 8 years, but it's gotten particularly bad in the last week. We have dramatically increased security at our synagogue, and Jews are wrestling with questions like: "Should I send my child to school?" "Will someone attack me, my family, or my children for being Jewish?" "Should I take down the mezuzah on my doorpost?" I spent the first 40 years of my life without any lived experience of antisemitism. I knew it existed, theoretically, but I didn't feel afraid for my safety because of being Jewish. That has changed. The last 10 days have significantly increased the level of fear many Jews are feeling, wherever they live. We are strong, and we will be okay, but the level of fear is very high right now.

Isolation / Loneliness

While all this has been happening for the Jewish community, it feels like business-as-usual for most of the non-Jewish world (in America). I've heard over and over again from congregants that going to work is very lonely right now. That they are struggling to keep it together, to not cry, and that no one seems to know or care what they're going through. They're surprised and disappointed that their non-Jewish friends and colleagues haven't reached out to check in with them, or to offer words of support.  (To non-Jewish readers: It's not too late to reach out! See below for my suggestions about how to help.)

Jews are even more upset with the friends, colleagues, schools, community members, and organizations who have not only not offered words of support, but have been public in their support for Hamas ("Pro-Palestine"). This is very hard for many Jews to hear right now, because we are also pro-Palestinian. We want Palestinians to have their own state. We want Palestinians to be safe. We worry for the Gazan people, we cry for the civilians who have been killed and will be killed in this war. And yet, Hamas is a terrorist group whose goal is to kill Jews and destroy Israel. They also terrorize their own (Palestinian) people and funnel money to building tunnels and rockets rather than building homes, hospitals, and infrastructure for the Gazan people to thrive. The public narrative of Israel as the "bad guy" in this war is infuriating to most people in the Jewish community. Hamas entered homes with the sole purpose of torturing and raping and killing people, and distressingly, they are getting more sympathy than Israel / Jews in public opinion.  People are also frustrated with businesses / organizations / schools that have made statements that are highly sanitized and don't acknowledge the horror of Hamas' actions.

 All this is to say, Jews are feeling really lonely. Many are talking about this in Holocaust-related terms. "'Never again' is now." "More Jews died in one day than any other time since the Holocaust." Jews wonder which of their non-Jewish friends would hide them if they had to hide (back to fear, above), and they worry that their non-Jewish friends wouldn't help them. They worry that Jews are truly alone in the world, with antisemitism lurking everywhere. (By the way, I don't think that's true - I know there is still a lot of support for individual Jews and the Jewish community as a whole. I have felt that loving support. But people are nevertheless feeling very lonely and isolated, sometimes with very good reason.)

Guilt

A number of people have told me how guilty they feel for their relative safety here in America. Every time they look at their children, or tuck their children in at night, they feel guilty. They don't know how to go to something upbeat or celebratory - like a birthday party - when people are dying and in captivity in Gaza / Israel. "My best friend in Israel is living through a nightmare, while I get to live my life in a normal way here."  "My family is suffering, running to the bomb shelter every few hours, while I go about my life as usual. How can I do that?!" There isn't anything that can be done about those feelings, but a lot of people have mentioned it this week.

Despair

Will this ever end? How? What will happen to all those being held captive right now? Will they make it out alive? As I said before, most Jews in my community want a two-state solution to the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. They want Palestinians to live in peace, and to have agency over their lives. But what can be done when the group in charge of Gaza are murderous terrorists whose sole goal is the destruction of Israel and the killing of Jews? What can be done when Hamas uses their own civilians as human shields?  There is despair about the current moment as well as the long-term future. 

WHAT CAN I DO?

If you want to support your Jewish friends, colleagues, co-workers, and community members, here are a few easy suggestions:

1) Reach out to them. Text or email or call. If you don't know what to say, "I'm thinking about you" with a heart emoji is great. Or "I'm here to support you." Knowing there is support from non-Jewish people in our lives is a HUGE help right now.

2) Offer to drop off a meal. Or just bring food over without asking. Many people have shared with me that they've forgotten to eat because they are so upset. Jews bring food to other people when they are going through difficult times. By bringing a meal / food to someone you know and care about, you are showing that you are there for them, and showing up for them in their time of distress.  

3) Be careful and thoughtful about social media. There is a lot going around on social media that is factually incorrect, and/or harmful to Jews. Be careful about what you post and share. If you're not sure, check in with a Jewish friend.

4) Read / learn (via trusted sources). For updates on what's happening in Israel, I suggest The Times of Israel. It is a more reliable news source than American news sources. My blog (a previous post) also has a list of recommended articles & resources: 

https://rabbigreninger.blogspot.com/2023/10/recommended-reading-re-war-in-israel.html 

5) Donate.  If you'd like to make a donation to support the people of Israel, we suggest the 2023 Israel Emergency Fund, which is sending money to a variety of organizations on the ground providing medical care, emergency services, evacuation support, transport, and housing.

-----

From all of us in the Jewish community, and at Temple Isaiah, thank you for reading this, and for your loving support!!

Solidarity Event at Temple Isaiah, Oct 9, 2023

Recommended Reading Re: The War in Israel & Gaza

In these dark times, I personally find it helpful to read analyses about current events. These are some articles / resources that I have found particularly interesting and/or helpful. I will continue to update this blog in the days ahead.

By Thomas Friedman:

Nov 28: Understanding the True Nature of the Hamas-Israel War

Nov 22: The Rescuers

Nov 14: The Most Revealing Moment from my Trip to Israel

Nov 9: I Have Never Been to This Israel Before

Oct 25: Israel: From the Six-Day War to the Six-Front War

Oct 16: Why a Gaza Invasion and "Once and for all" Thinking Are Wrong for Israel

Oct 14: Why Israel is Acting This Way

Oct 10: Israel Has Never Needed to be Smarter than in this Moment 

Other articles:

Nov 28: The Left is Dooming Any Hope for a Palestinian State

Nov 25: Choosing Judaism: A Rabbi's Reflection on the Ever-Present Question, Is It Worth It?

Nov 16: The Disposable People of History

Nov 16: There Should be More Public Pressure on Hamas

Nov 16: Younger Activists Dream of a New Peace Process

Nov 15: How Israel Feels Now

Nov 15: The Hostages are not a diversion from this war. They're at the heart of it.

Nov 15: What We Get Wrong about Israel and Gaza

Nov 12: The lonely people of history

Oct 31: Rabbit Holes and Blue Skies

Oct 27: The Decolonization Narrative is Dangerous and False

Oct 26: Searching for Humanity in the Middle East

Oct 25: Why is Israel being blamed for the Hamas massacre?

Oct 17: Do Not Take Your Mezuza Off Your Door

Oct 17: What This War Is About

Oct 15: Hamas Bears the Blame for Every Death in this War

Oct 14: We Were Wrong

Oct 13: I'm Going to War for Israel; Palestinians are Not My Enemy 

Oct 12: The Missed Chance for Peace 

Oct 11: God, You are the Peace 

Oct 10: The Truth of Hamas is in Its Charter 

Oct 10: Hamas is guilty of inhuman violence. What about the Palestinians who cheered them on? 

Oct 10: Tragedy in Israel 

Oct 9: Everything I thought I knew about Israel and Hamas was wrong 

Oct 8: A Wounded, Weakened Israel is a Fiercer One 

Oct 7: Hamas's Control of Gaza Must End Now

Recommended resources:

Podcast: For Heaven's Sake

Resource: Alma's Guide to the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

Resource: Jewish Unpacked: FAQ's about the Israeli-Hamas War

Resource: Israel Policy Forum - organization dedicated to a two-state solution... they have many articles, podcasts, and webinars addressing current events 

Resource: Jewish Community Relations Council (JCRC) - Resources for talking with schools and businesses, and a list of local vigils, gatherings, and solidarity events

Resources specifically related to children / education:

• Article: How to Talk to Kids about What’s Happening in Israel Right Now

• Article: Walking the Tightrope: Talking About the Current Situation in Israel with Children

• Webinar: How to Talk to Children about Israel Today

• Resource: Children's Learning about Israel 

• JFCS’ Talking with Children about Violence in Israel 

• PJ Library: How to talk about scary situations and about antisemitism

Barbie, The Hero's Journey, and the Jewish Calendar

Shabbat Drash - Re'eh - August 11, 2023 - 25 Av 5783

Rabbi Nicki Greninger

(sing)

I went to the doctor.

I went to the mountains.

I looked to the children.

I drank from the fountains.

There’s more than one answer to these questions

Pointing me in a crooked line….

Like everyone else, it seems, I’m on a Barbie high (and can’t stop singing Closer to Fine, by the Indigo Girls, which is sung in the movie). I saw the new Barbie movie with a friend right when it came out, and I saw it again last weekend with my daughter and my dad. I’ll try not to give any spoilers away tonight, but I will say one thing - Go see it!!  There is so much to unpack in the movie, not to mention the fact that the creator of Barbie - Ruth Handler - was a Jewish woman from my hometown of Denver, Colorado.

One of the many feminist moves of the movie is to turn Barbie’s story into a “hero’s journey.” 

Greta Gerwig - the brilliant director and writer - takes a plastic, fake woman and has her go on an adventure: leaving her home, learning important lessons, and ending up transformed by the experience. At the end of the movie - no spoilers! - Barbie is on the precipice of a new beginning.

The opening of this week’s Torah portion reminds me a bit of the Barbie movie, as Moses and the Israelites stand on the precipice of the Promised Land, and Moses says to the people, on behalf of God: “Re’eh!” “See! This day I set before you blessing and curse.”  In other words, you are about to enter a new land, a new moment in the history of this people, and you have a choice about how you want to act. 

In this messy and complicated world, will you choose to act in ways that lead to blessing? Or to curses?

Right now we are at a liminal moment in the Jewish calendar, a moment that relates to both Barbie and this Torah portion. Two and a half weeks ago was Tisha B’av - the saddest day on the Jewish calendar, a day when we leaned into despair, and we mourned for all the destruction in the world and the harm caused to the Jewish people. We sank into the pit. 

But instead of staying in that dark place, we began to move out of it. You can’t stay flat on your face forever. 

There are seven weeks between Tisha B’av and Rosh Hashanah, and those weeks are called the 7 Weeks of Consolation.  We are in those 7 weeks of Consolation right now. We do not stay in the place of pain and desolation and despair, even though we may want to. Yes, we look around the world and notice what a mess it has been, what an absolute mess it is in our time, too. (As Barbie discovers!) But in the cycle of Jewish time, we don’t stay in that emotional state for long. 

After despair in the Jewish calendar comes comfort, consolation.  

Sometimes we can pick ourselves up from that place of despair without help. But most of the time, we can’t do it alone.  We need help.

In Jewish tradition, there are prophetic readings for the 7 weeks after Tisha B’av, including Isaiah chapter 40, when God calls out to us, “Nachamu! Nachamu ami! Be comforted! Be comforted, my People!” God is here to comfort us.

And because sometimes we aren’t sure if we believe in God. Or we aren’t sure about our relationship with God, we may encounter the Divine through our relationships with other people… and so, sometimes comfort comes from other people. 

Let’s do a short thought experiment. Close your eyes and think of a time when you were really in a dark time in your life.  Not a time of clinical depression, but just … a rough time in your life. What gave you comfort? Who gave you comfort? Who reached out their hand and helped walk you through that difficult time? Who helped you feel loved?  Who (or what) helped you leave despair behind? (Open your eyes)

We are in the 7 weeks of consolation - of comfort - right now, so it is the perfect time to seek out comfort. Sometimes we seek comfort in prayer, in moments of spirituality, connection to God. Sometimes we find comfort in nature, in music, in art, in a good book. In the loving embrace of a family member or friend. 

But comfort isn’t just about feeling better, or feeling good. Comfort helps us move out of the place of darkness and despair, and move toward hope. Move toward action. 

Next week we begin the Hebrew month of Elul, which is the month that leads us to Rosh Hashanah. It is customary in the month of Elul for Jews to go through a process of introspection.  To look at our lives and ask hard questions: 

Who am I? 

How have I acted in the world in the last year? 

Who do I want to be? 

How can I change 

so that I can become the person I really, truly want to be? 

The person I know deep down I CAN be? 

That is the hard work of Elul. 

The work that begins where comfort ends. 

Because that work is deeply uncomfortable. 

It is challenging. 

It asks us to change ourselves, 

and in doing so, to change the world. 

This, friends, is the hero’s journey.  

Like Barbie - and so many others in film and literature who go on a hero’s journey - we too are on a hero’s journey. But we don’t go on this journey alone, and we don’t go on this journey once in our lives.  We go on this journey every single year, as a Jewish community.  We move out of the place of comfort to a place of learning and growth and change. A place of transformation.

The image you see looks like a circle, and you might think that the “hero” ends in the place they began. But in reality, the hero’s journey is more of a spiral. 

The hero is not the same person at the end of the journey. They have been transformed, and they are ready to begin a new adventure, a new journey. 

As we sing each year at Rosh Hashanah, (sing) “Return again, return again, return to the land of your soul.”

As we look ahead to Elul next week, and Rosh Hashanah just a month after that, it is time to start asking ourselves:

What will we work on this year? 

Dismantling patriarchy? 

Advancing feminism? 

Fighting for democracy in Israel? 

Working toward racial justice?  

Reproductive freedom?

Reducing global warming?

There is so much pain in the world. 

So much that is broken. 

It is frighteningly easy to fall into despair. 

This Shabbat, 

and in these weeks of consolation, 

let us seek comfort.  

Let us not stay flat on our faces.  

Oh God, help us know we are not alone. Help us seek comfort in You, in one another, in a community of those who share our values. And then, like Barbie, may we be moved to change ourselves, so we can then change the world.

(Cantor Korn leads "Nachamu Nachamu" by Elana Arian)

"Rabbi, I have to admit, I'm not 'religious.'"

In my role as educator, I often meet with people who are thinking about joining my synagogue, Temple Isaiah.  Perhaps they have kids and are thinking about starting JQuest. Or they have been coming to Tot Shabbat and want to learn more about Temple Isaiah membership.  Whatever their story, there is one theme that comes up again and again in those meetings with prospective members: “Rabbi, I have to admit, I’m not religious.”  

With trepidation, with guilt, with embarrassment, and sometimes a whole variety of other emotions I can’t quite pinpoint, they say to me: “I’m not religious.”  People want me to know that while they may be interested in joining Temple Isaiah, I should not mistake them for “religious.” 

 

But what does that mean? 

 

And so, I ask, kindly and with a smile.  “When you say you’re ‘not religious,’ can you help me understand what you mean by that?”  I’ve asked a version of that question over and over, and these are some of the answers I hear:

 

“I’m more of a ‘cultural Jew.’”

 

“I’m not sure, I just don’t think I’m very religious.”

 

“I want my children to learn the [Jewish] traditions, but…”

 

“I’m a very open-minded person.”

 

Frequently, people don’t really know how to articulate what they mean by “not religious,” so I try to give them some language, some possibilities for what they mean.

 

“Perhaps it means you don’t like going to services?”  “You’re not as interested in the ‘God’ part of Judaism?”  “You’re not sure you believe in God?” “You don’t consider yourself ritually observant?”

 

I think sometimes what they’re saying (underneath it all) is, “Rabbi, I am Jewish and I want to be connected to Jewish community.  I want to understand what it means to be Jewish and I want my kids to develop Jewish identities.  But I am nervous about joining a synagogue.  I don’t want to seem too ‘religious,’ or be seen as a ‘religious’ person.’”

 

The same is true for adults (without kids, or with grown kids) who are seeking Jewish community and/or learning.  Sometimes there is trepidation, as they don't want to seem - or be seen as - “too religious.”  But they do want to learn, connect, grow.

 

Does this resonate for you?  Do you feel this way? 

 

The problem here stems from a question of what Judaism is. Is Judaism a religion?  Well, yes, but … it’s also a people, a nation, a culture, a tradition, a family.  Judaism has been called a “race” (in Nazi Germany); it’s been called a “civilization” (by Mordechai Kaplan); my teacher Rabbi Larry Hoffman calls Judaism a “conversation” - i.e. to be Jewish is to be part of the Jewish Conversation that has been taking place for thousands of years. 

 

Further problems come from connotations of the word “religious.”  We live in a time and place where sometimes people associate “religious” with “close-minded” or “extremist” or “un-enlightened.”  

 

So people come to me saying - I am open-minded, I am tolerant, I am educated, I am enlightened.  I am also Jewish, and I am trying to find a way to be part of Jewish community and embrace Judaism in a way that feels comfortable for me and my family.

 

The question I’ve been asking myself is, “What does this mean for Jewish education?”  How can we make it easier for people to access Jewish learning, without trepidation about the term “religious”? 

 

We changed the name of our youth education program from “religious school” to “JQuest” intentionally.  (See http://rabbigreninger.blogspot.com/2015/09/why-jquest-instead-of-religious-school.html for more about that change) How else could we make it easier for people to feel comfortable and confident approaching me (or any rabbi / cantor / Jewish educator) looking to deepen their Jewish connections?  Is this an issue of PR / marketing, assuring people that they don’t have to see themselves as “religious” to find meaning and depth and connection in Judaism and Jewish learning?  Or is it a matter of education first and foremost - helping people learn more about Judaism, and in so doing, realize that the term “religious” is inadequate after all? 

 

If you have thoughts about any of this, please send them my way. I’d love to hear from you.  Or, if you know someone thinking about Jewish learning but do not see themselves as “religious,” please send them this article to let them know they’re not alone!

Helpful Articles about Current Events in Israel

For My Children & The Children of Gaza: A View from the Israeli Border

An Open Letter to Trevor Noah

The Bad Optics of Fighting for Your Life

When Hamas is not our Biggest Problem

I Cannot Just Put my Anger Aside Until Things are Quiet

For Trump, Hamas, and Bibi, It Is Always Jan 6

I'm Fed Up

Now, when rockets are falling, is exactly the right time to talk about building a better future for Israelis and Palestinians

"Our stories are intertwined, our futures inextricably linked. Neither of us can possibly win until we find a way for all of us to win."

Why Israel Lost This War

"As criticism of the war shifts to a foundational critique of Israel itself, Israel can't afford to not make its case. This it can do ​only by reclaiming the moral high ground."

Israel's Real Existential Threat

Trying to Be an Optimist in Bad Times

We Hold All These Truths

How an American Left Lens Can Get Israel Wrong

"At the end of the day, when all is said and done, this is a painful and enduring conflict between two indigenous people struggling to share one homeland. They do not map onto American and Western narratives of racism, colonialism and whiteness.

Regardless of our politics, we must agree that these two people desperately need to achieve a peaceful coexistence. For those who care about human dignity, about peace, and about truth, there is a role for us to play in supporting those who actually live here and are working to build a better future for both people."

Israel's Problems Are Not Like America's

Hamas's Forever War Against Israel has a Glitch and It Isn't the Iron Dome

How the Mideast Conflict is Blowing up the Region, the Democratic Party, and Every Synagogue in America